


an aching empty place in your heart, or something else melodramatic like that

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Dealing With Loss, Gen, Mentions of Suicide, Sadstuck, dave and bro are only mentioned, my first fic i guess go me, no one is dead shit just sucks, vague descriptions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's been three months since you've talked to Dave, and it hurts.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	an aching empty place in your heart, or something else melodramatic like that

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because davekat fic reminds me of my best friend a lot, and I've found that writing fic is a nice kinda coping thing, so I guess this is a vent thing. Be careful when making CPS calls, kids.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you feel like shit. You stare into the burning light of your phone, at the Pesterchum app icon. You stare at the Pesterchum chumroll until your head hurts from the light and lack of blinking. Or maybe your head hurts from stress. Fuck if you know, fuck if you care.

It was a mistake. Dave wanted to leave so bad, he’d told you as much. It was between doing something, anything, and running away. Instead of playing video games you’d worked out a CPS visit with your dad over your phone while you walked to Shell and back since Bro doesn’t have access to that. It felt good. At the time. You felt like you were doing something. You felt like it would get better for Dave. You thought things would improve, from when you would go to his apartment and stay with him in silence as he recovered from an encounter with Bro you heard from the other room but didn’t have to see. Your visits started including those moments more and more frequently.

Fuck Bro, you would beat him within an inch of his life if he weren’t a grown man with pants-shittingly terrifying strife ability. You can’t do that. You could only be there to Dave, offer your support, and the support of the actual good adults in your own household. And now you can’t even do that.

Fuck. Fuck Bro. Fuck the stupid CPS cunt, too. She asked him, in front of his brother if he was being abused. IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING BROTHER. FUCK. You turn over in your bed, your fists clench against your blankets as your body struggles to deal with the physical manifestation of your anger issues. She reported to your dad the next day that she wouldn’t ask him in private because she didn’t want the parent to see him agreeing to speak with her privately. As if that's any fucking different from asking a kid if they're being abused right in front of the person being investigated for abuse. Of fucking course he said no. That bitch then, after doing the worst possible job of protecting a child you could possibly imagine, had the gall in her to ask your dad if he thought that Dave was fucking lying to get his brother in trouble! What the fuck. She said that there was no evidence of abuse and left. You hate Bro. You hate her.

You haven’t heard from him since that Monday morning of the CPS visit. That was three months ago. Your face is wet and breathing is hard. You wish you didn’t cry so much. You wish you didn’t feel so bad. You wish you could talk to Dave again. He said he'd call you the morning of the visit, and hasn’t spoken to you since. You started contacting him on Instagram of all places instead of text at some point just to see if he'd seen your messages. He’d see them(someone would see them), he'd give a one word response, and wouldn't say anything else. After a while he stopped looking at the messages you sent. You know Bro knows it was your family that called CPS. You know why Dave suddenly won't talk to you anymore. It makes you sick, it makes you angry, and it makes you so, so sad.

John had told you that Dave had told him over text that his phone service was being turned off. Two months ago. He told John and not you, and you know why, and you wish you didn't. You fucked up. You fucked up so bad and you wish you could take it back, it would be better that way, at least you could have been there for him until his 18th birthday. Fuck. There are no redo's, there are no take-backsies, there's no retcon bullshit to the god-awful outcome of your decisions. You talked to him nearly everyday for years, you visited his side of town as much as your guardians and schedules would allow, and here comes the end of some weekend and all of that is just gone. Like your shitty dog running into the road and getting hit by a car like the mindless mutt he is, there's nothing you can do after that.

You wonder what Bro did to Dave after that cunt left. You can only imagine. You really don’t want to think about it too hard, you know that abuse is always worse when no one is there to see it. Bro could move them, Dave could kill himself, would anyone bother to tell you? You’d have no way of knowing.

You were trying to read, 45 minutes ago. Mostly to get your mind off of a project you’re supposed to finish soon for school. The cool, aloof love interest isn't Dave. They're not even that similar. He’s just...the way his friendship with the main character was described reminded you too much of him. You’ve been best friends since the seventh grade and you miss talking to him so much. You miss playing video games with him. You miss walking to the Shell near his apartment with him. He’s your best friend. He was your best friend. And you love him, you genuinely love him dearly.

You continue to stare hard at the Pesterchum chumroll. The name turntechGodhead is lit up yellow. Dave is active. You assume it’s Dave using his pesterchum account, anyway. Your stomach feels like it's being filled with lead. You hate this. You want to pester him so bad. But you know he won't respond, you know his “family” has literally cut yours out of Dave’s life. It may just be painful for him to be reminded that he's not allowed to talk to you or see you anymore. You're not the one in the abusive household here, but it would feel so nice just to see that he'd seen your message even if he doesn't respond. That's selfish of you, you know, you’ve always been a pretty selfish person. Of course if he was able to talk to you he would have done it by now. He was always the one to initiate conversation.

\- - carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:37 - -

…

The lead in your stomach gets heavier as you just look and think of daring to say something. You scroll up in conversation to look at pesterlogs from months ago. It doesn't feel good to read them anymore. You skim past conversations talking about going to some fancy fucking place for irony or whatever, you never ended up taking him there. You try not to think about that memory. You don’t type anything. There’s really no point in any of this, besides maybe some fucked up sort of mindless self-punishment, or grieving or whatever. You know that, you know that, you already know, and this roundabout ‘what-if’ thing isn’t going to help you, no matter how hard you hope that you’re actually wrong about this whole situation.

You’re never going to see or speak to Dave Strider ever again.


End file.
